How Mickey Mouse Taught Me A Lesson About Expectations…and Humility
Expectations could simply be put as something that one wants for themselves though not necessarily are a given. When I was younger, I remember what Christmas time was like in our house. The expectations for many presents was first on my mind when we all woke up on Christmas morning. I remember one year asking and receiving things such as a new television for my room, certain clothing, sports equipment and a Mickey Mouse watch. I am embarrassed to say that in the late 1970’s that Mickey Mouse watches were a big thing. Not sure why but I had to have one.
After opening gift after gift after gift, I remember the disappointed of not receiving my watch. I had set myself up for a big let down that day because I expected that watch to be among my gifts. I never fully appreciated what I had received and was let down when the watch didn’t appear before my eyes.
Expectations can work for us and against us.
Striving for our dreams all the while working hard to ensure we are on the right path to achieving those dreams is something that allows us to have appreciation for those dreams that are reached. In terms of baseball, Trevor Bauer worked extremely hard at getting to the point he is at now in his career, even when he achieved his ultimate goal of being a MLB player, of striving for more and becoming the pitcher that many got to see this past week while pitching Game 1 of the American League Division Championship series vs. the New York Yankees. It has taken a long time to get to that point but it was a dream achieved. The expectations he put on himself were tough but attainable and he never gave in on those dreams.
Expectations are really about reaching a goal that you consistently work towards, and never giving up on them.
The problem I had with my Mickey Mouse watch was that I expected to receive it but never truly deserving it because my expectation was unrealistic, and the fact that I gave up on the watch after receiving many other gifts, I should have cherished that moment. I expected it but didn’t deserve it. Shamefully, the watch was placed in my stocking as the last gift I opened but at that point I blew for myself and probably should have put it away and done something to truly appreciate it.
The goals and dreams we put out for ourselves should be so crystal clear that NOTHING should get in the way of achieving them. Not negative people, not coaches and certainly not ourselves. However, because of so much negativity in this world that we bring our kids into, our children take a lot of that negativity coming from ourselves, our teachers and coaches, all the people where we should be uplifting them and not tearing them down.
Almost 30 years ago, I have been guilty of being that way for all of my children, and I have apologized to my 2 sons numerous times for being at my worst in front of them instead of my best. It is funny now that as fathers themselves, they have used those good learning times towards their own kids and try to catch themselves if they are not anything but encouraging their sons and daughter. In fact, they have both said several times that they can’t believe I didn’t yell more at them because as they are both fathers now that their first instinct is like a knee-jerk reaction and go towards tearing them down. But we all learn our lessons as we mature and have different points in our lives where important things like love and friendship are SO much more important than ripping into someone.
I have seen it firsthand with coaches that yelling seems to be a pre-requisite for coaching young men. I see it now and am truly embarrassed by their behavior. I was like that years ago and have tried to make it a conscious decision to not embarrass players in front of others and take them off to the side and talk through whatever happened during a game or practice. Unfortunately, ALL coaches in this Valley and beyond (Varsity, JV or Frosh) are yellers and screamers… ALL of them.
In my experience, coaches are this way due to their own frustrations of not playing baseball anymore. As a player they were ‘great’ in high school but that was it. There is a particular coach who has bragged to his players that in high school he threw 95 miles per hour (MPH) which its completely false. I saw him in high school and he pitched against our team, now if he subtracted about 13 mph then I would believe him but he didn’t. But since ‘he did’ that is supposed to get players to listen to him and do what he did, of course, he didn’t tell these young and impressionable players that he had elbow surgery for incorrect mechanics (Tommy John surgery) but any of these coaches who brag about the past ‘exploits’ are typically not good coaches, again, in my 30 years of coaching.
As parents, we have to prepare our kids to hear what their coach is saying but figure out yourself if you/ they should truly listen. I do this ALL the time, and when it comes to pitching there is a lot of misinformation about proper throwing mechanics….just flat out untruths over and over. I will give credit to Valencia High School pitching coach, Ryan Kysar, who is a long time student of mine who is doing things the right way with his pitching staff. He gets it because he has lived it with me, and played in college where he said some coaches were ok and some were not. Kudos to Ryan for really learning the art of pitching and it makes me proud that he is a ‘chip off the old block’ in his wisdom imparted from yours truly.
The bottom line in all of this is that just because an adult is listed a coach doesn’t make them in expert. And some are genuinely, though not intentionally, teaching bad, bad things while screaming at players and those are the coaches your child has to be careful of.
Life is hard, there is no question. But it is about learning and doing the right things towards other people. It is no different in parenting then it should be for coaches who have a big impact in your baseball playing son’s career. If a coach is positive in his teaching then your son or daughter will have a great experience in learning to love the game they play. Your always have to be careful in how you handle things. If I had to guess in a survey of all those kids who played some level of baseball growing up, if they liked their youth and high school coach or not, then 30-40% percent will say NO, it was not a good experience. I am completely responsible for players coming to Throwzone in allowing them to learn and leave here having a good time and getting better with their throwing, it is a sad result of this specific survey that these things happen but you and I can make it as positive as we can to allow them to have great experiences while growing up on the baseball/softball diamond.
The Holiday camp will be held this year before and after Christmas, which is about 9 weeks away. It is crazy the Holiday commercials are already playing.
Emails and marketing will go out in about a month, we hope to see many of you as a kick-start into the Spring season, and particularly high school baseball season which begins around February the 20th. Our Holiday camp never disappoints with strength, arm care and high velocity all the while throwing strikes and recovering quickly.
Many spots available for group classes and 1-1 privates.
Until next time…
Jim
Jim Wagner's ThrowZone Academy 